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Issue #4 p2 Sept, 2008
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..The Whole Earth Zhufmalog:
...This Wild And Wacky Omposm Called Earth
... by Farfummf Watafazmoo
..
.. .Greetings to my homzoi doggies back home. Here's the latest hwumshuk from Earth.
....Well, it's been hot hot HOT! here in the New York sector where earthforms do what they call "vacations." The youth pods are free to stay home and pretend to kill each other on their gurgle boxes and many peeps go to a place they call "elsewhere" which they also call being "outside." I was puzzled by this idea of travelling to where it's outside so I did research.
....On Earth there are mainly two zones: Outside and Inside. The New York sector is an Inside Zone which comprises of structures and noises made by the earthforms. The living and occupational activities take place in these structures, all of which are located in the Inside Zone. The Outside Zones are filled with vegetation, large rocks and liquidy masses. There are also many earthform-made structures; but these are all located Outside.
....The Inside Zones have some designated areas that are replicas of "outside." They are called "parks." Insiders must travel to parks in order to have an outside-like experience. There are benches for observers who can not find a spare piece of vegetation upon which to place their fulge. However, in the Outside Zones one is always outside. If proof is desired one only need open the door. Everything is outside and all the noises are made by the roarings of micro-beasts. The only other type of sound is when earthforms do their sad impersonations of the funky norpse chicken to recordings of the majestic music of Koko Dozo.
....Wealthy earthforms have dwellings in both zones. I have seen zones that are a sort of combination of both fake Inside and fake Outside -- they are called "malls." They are frightening places where molecules go when they are ready to die. There is a special earth word designed to describe this zone -- "Whatever."
....Unlike Kokodozans who wisely believe nothing unless it serves the devine purpose of achieving the succulent hummn of the Eternal Pillow -- earthforms display the amazing ability to believe anything that gives them comfort. Insiders stroll or ride their bicycles on cement paths right next to the highway all the while believing they are experiencing the "outside." Similarly, Outsiders build new freshly painted rows of stores designed to look like stores from a hundred years earlier. Apparently that was when outside was really really outside. Some of these Outside stores sell many styles of sandwiches with interesting names like "The Tribeca" which, oddly, happens to be the section in the Inside Zone of New York where the most fabulous earthforms in the world live. These earthforms are referred to as "artsy" because actual artists once lived there. I am told that one must be wealthy to be artsy but very few get wealthy by being artists. I am confused by this. It will be a subject of future research.
....One earthform named Rupert Murdoch owns many dwellings in both Inside and Outside Zones because he is wealthy. He got wealthy by providing the multitudes with fake information so that all may believe and have comfort. Earthforms strive to be squishy with comfort like the little squishy toys they call "twinkies." I must say it does feel comforting to squeeze twinkies. But I keep breaking them -- which soils my hands and earthpants with sticky white spooze. Perhaps that is why the earthforms squeeze them with their mouths, thus swallowing the sticky spooze. It resembles what they call "giving the head" which is said to be healthier than "butt-funking." Strange that they think funk is unhealthy. No wonder the twinkie squeezers make such a spimoom out of our beloved funky norpse chicken.
....So much to learn here. So much comfort to be had.

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KOKO DOZO WILL SPEW FORTH NOCTURNAL SONIC EMISSIONS

Thurs. Sept. 11: Club NME AT THE ANNEX
152 Orchard St., NYC, Earth
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Sept. 23: Rebel Rebel at THE ANNEX
152 Orchard St., NYC, Earth.
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Wed. Oct. 1

at PUBLIC ASSEMBLY
(formerly known as GALAPAGOS)

70 N. 6th St. Williamsburg, Brooklyn (Btw. Kent & Wythe Aves.)
Subway: L to Bedford Ave.
Visit the Home Sweet Project site
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