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Issue #12 - Apr-May, 2010

SpAN's EARTH DAY

SPECIAL EDITION

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VELFIN SPOIDIOYZ CAUGHT UP IN EARTHMANIA!
Entire Galaxy Spellbound By All Things EARTH!

...Since the discovery of the tiny planet Earth by the Bazbadorian team of explorers/sonic engineers, Koko Dozo, the entire Velfin Spoidioyz galaxy has become addicted to the reports we receive about this strange place. It is no surprise then that this "Earthmania" has resulted in what has been the first annual Earth Day.
...We have fallen in love with Earth food -- although it took quite awhile to figure that the horrible-tasting chewy matter inside the delicious packaging must be pits that are intended to be discarded. Obviously the food is engineered to be transparent so that we can see the inedible pits inside and avoid biting into them. Quite clever. One of the many ideas that have been adopted by our own food factories.
...And who can resist the delightful sci-fi adventures beamed back from Earth like "Housewives of New York." Although Our favorite comedy is the enormously popular comedy "Avatar." The special effects were so transparently shoddy that the aliens were made to look just like earthforms except for a slightly different color. And the earthform characters acted like they believed these blue-ish figures were really alien beings. Who says humor does not translate from one galaxy to another?
...One of the amusements from Earth that keeps Velfians glued to their doidleviddies is the game show about how earthforms are destroying their own planet. One team wants to try to stop the destruction while the other team insists that the reports of destruction is a hoax. We can not wait to find out which side wins.
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KOKO DOZO'S NEW EP, "FEEL THE ZUZZ!" EARNS PRAISE IN EARTH BLOGOSPHERE

		, read it NOW!!!
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LISTS! LISTS! LISTS!		In preparation for our special Earth Day issue of SpAN we asked our readers in the Velfin Spoidiyz what they like about Earth and to list their favorite Earth amusements. Here is the results of our poll.
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FAVORITE THINGS FROM EARTH 1. marijuana 2. earthform genitals 3. Nervous foot syndrome 4. Las Vegas 5. the stories physicists use to explain the universe 6. bubble wrap 7. grills 8. the military industrial complex 9. videos of cute animals 10. prostate exams 11. salad dressing 12. shaving cream 13. illegal aliens		FAVORITE EARTH SONIC EMISSIONS 1. The Tornados - Telstar 2. The Royal Teens - Short Shorts 3. Parliament - Mothership Connection 4. Skip James - I'm So Glad 5. anything by The Chipmunks 6. Larry Adler - Smokin' Reefers 7. Mickey Katz - Borscht Riders In The Sky 8. Doc Boggs - Mother's Advice 9. Yma Sumac - Xtaba 10. Perry Como - Hot Diggity Dog Ziggity Boom . SONIC EMISSIONS FOR CHILDREN 1. Ancient Voices of Children by George Crumb 2. John Coltrane - Ascension
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THE STARS WERE SHINING IN CELEBRATION
OF EARTH FASHION

...A glittering array of the blampst and brightest of the Velfin Spoidioyz attended a gala event in full costume. The party, hosted by none other than The Blessed Exalted Mumulo Habjabor, required (by legal fiat) that the invited attendees wear costumes identical to those worn by earthform in their every day life. Those of us in the press who were fortunate enough to attend were witness to a fabulous array of exotic plummage. SPACE ALIEN NATION is proud to offer our readers a sampling of what we observed. We hope our Beloved Leader will make his costume banquet a regular feature of our galaxy-wide annual celebration of Earth Day.
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	.1 The Blessed Exalted Mumulo Habjabor .2 Shombeesy Galallalop, Director of Ethereal ...Design & Wakiwah Fifk, fungminor .3 Glilgoil Fafifah & Mullyguch Geezingoizin, ...Funky Norpse Chicken Champions

		.4 Queen Zemmn Chubshuckis .5 Gambothna Geebis, Koko ...Dozo garbler .6 Leegeeji Ikinoob & Mfoof ...Glulgm, astrophilippists .7 Farfummf Watafazmoo, ...Koko Dozo noiz chemist .8 Lopaloly Mommoink & Jich ....Thopshog, official crashers .9 Yah Fudda Dumki, Secretary ....of Expectations .10 Zhiditmo Ekdek & Chlech ....Zergbwaffy, Supreme Death ....Panel Justices .11 Fenfish Hoigidoig, celebrity ....wumzadontist

..The Whole Earth Zhufmalog:
...This Wild And Wacky Omposm Called Earth
... by Farfummf Watafazmoo
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....Earthforms love to celebrate. And they enjoy celebrating with liquids. Some liquids pour down and some pour up. When they open vessels of bubble juice they hear a delightful pop! -- and the liquid flies upward. What remains in the bottle get poured down into their body cavities. Though a bit late this year, the planet itself celebrated with liquids pouring up and down. It poured up in the watery region of the Gulf of Mexico and it poured down on the village of Nashville where earthforms garble their sonic emissions while wearing large hats. This year's celebratory squirting of oil created a dazzling display of kinetic painting upon the Gulf waters that brought to mind the ritual squirting of lightforms in the sky on the 4th of July. However, the downpour of liquids onto Nashville was much lacking in visual sparkle. There, the visual rewards suffered from a monochromatic brown cast which resisted any attempt by ambient light sources to reveal spontaneous expressions of contrapuntal variation in either tone or shape.
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..The Gulf oil spill (Left) features dynamic swirls of shape and color that never ceases to enchant the senses as it weaves its way toward the coast of Louisiana in a ballet of luminosity.
..The flooding in Nashville (Right) failed to sparkle with its risky commitment to formal minimalism.

More LISTS! LISTS! LISTS!
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FAVORITE VISUAL AMUSEMENTS FROM EARTH SCI-FI: Housewives of New York COMEDY: Avatar DOCUMENTARY: Plan 9 From Outer Space MUSICAL: Saddest Music In The World dir. by Guy Maddin ACTION ADVENTURE: Eraserhead dir. by David Lynch ACTOR: Glenn Beck COMEDY TEAM: Rachel Maddow & Kent Jones SCARIEST FACE: Nancy Pelosi DANCER: George W. Bush NEWS PROGRAM: Star Trek DRAMATIC SERIES: Celebrity Apprentice		THE BLESSED EXALTED MUMULO HABJABOR'S FAVORITE EARTH SONIC EMISSIONS 1. Rude Boy - Rihanna 2. Nothin' On You - B.o.B Feat. Bruno Mars 3. In My Head - Jason Derulo 4. Hey, Soul Sister - Train 5. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz Feat. Ludacris 6. Breakeven - The Script 7. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum 8. Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha 9. Telephone - Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce 10. Alejandro - Lady Gaga
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