Koko Dozo: Space Alien Nation, #4

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Issue #4, p 1		Sept, 2008

"THERE IS NO LIFE ON EARTH"
ACCLAIMED ASTROPHYSICIST CALLS REPORTS

OF LIFE ON EARTH "A HOAX"

..."It is all a treasonous hoax!" proclaimed Dr. Rupert Murdoch. The reknowned astrophysist, philosopher and patriot has once again generated an interplanetary controversy accusing our beloved noiz shupsters and space explorers, Gambothna Geebis and Farfummf Watafazmoo, not only of perpetrating a malicious hoax on the public; he also claims that the duo -- who render their nocturnal sonic emissions under the name Kodo Dozo

in honor of their home planet -- are actually spies who should be brought back to the Velfin Spoidioyz to be executed for treason and then tried in the highest court. "They have invented stories of horrifying earth forms in order to terrorize us into changing our sacred Way Of Life," Dr. Murdoch said at a press conference yesterday..When reporters pointed out the photographic evidence of life on Earth that the Koko Dozo duo sent back home, some of which appeared in Issue #2, pg. 1 of this journal, Dr. Murdoch responded, "My research has shown that Earth lacks any evidence of moxigozn, the chemical necessary for the existence of life on any planet. Without moxigozn Earth can be nothing more than a pointlessly spinning hairball of rocks, water, foliage and meaningless echoes of elite ultra-liberal gases bouncing off mountain surfaces."
...In its defense, Koko Dozo has responded by charging that Dr. Murdoch himself is a spy -- a native earthform who has amassed a great fortune on Earth through his vast disinformation and spum-dweek empire; and he plans to use it to control the entire Fepulon Cluster.
...Since both parties in this dispute are so highly regarded by all in the Cluster there is much dismay. So much of our culture has been formed by the sonic emissions of Koko Dozo, particularly the funky norpse chicken which has become the yardstick by which we choose our leaders. And of course the way we perceive the world is defined by the work of Dr. Murdoch with his theories of Absolutivity, Molecular Stasis and The Big Buck Theory of how our universe was formed. Hopefully all of these disturbing charges will be proven false.
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....Page Sux: The Real Cosmic Poozle
... by Gambothna Geebis

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....Gordapatunes! Stilkleepers! Smuhabblers in all shades! Yards and yards of flowing Simiseee, Kyluz, and Cormuzzlah! That's right Earthlings, it's that bizarre overindulgent hyper-sensory phenomenon known as "fashion week" and already the smurrr is tuffling, and the anti-smurrr activists are ready to rumble! The shows! The personalities! The bottles and bottles of Burspizz popping, and tons of parties, Powbangos, Dusmuggahs, and Nocturnal Sonic Emissons , the nonstop pace has Terranopolans in a complete froth!
....Creative director and Fashionatrix Doomah Splinter has made headlines again for snubbing last years CRUD award winner Blank Setter's show in lieu of the up and coming bad boy design duo Tzitt and Pablo! Setter is so dismayed by Splinter's absence that cameras have already seen him on film resorting back to the behavior that put him into rehabilitation in the first place. Stay strong Blank, stay strong!
....However, that's nothing compared to the spectacle that Supershimmyshaker Bathsheeba Duncan caused when she found her paramour kent hydrox in the bathroom of hotspot private club "Broomsh" with her rival Supershimmyshaker Publica Replica! Bathsheeba has lost that famous temper again, will she be sent to exile, or have to do another round of public service? we can't wait to see what she wears!!!
....The front row at the "Darling to the Terrastarlets" Hezzeh Bon Winklumucken's show, included Subtown diva Mot Likmyhynie, Rusmie Livittrip, and that crazy wildchild Bneh Bneh Washboo! Bon Winklumucken, who has made millions designing dresses constructed from a bodysucking fabric he invented known as Zhkentz, was effusive about his current collection. "It's like having every ounce of twag ripped off your frame, darlings" he gushed while air kissing Editrixes Doomah Splinter, Henvda Bashwagon, and creator at large for STPD magazine, Washburn Nevilo Freebeenie. He continued to explain, "you jump headfirst into one of these babies, and it's like being reborn...better!"
....STAY TUNED FOR MORE!..

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KOKO DOZO WILL SPEW FORTH NOCTURNAL SONIC EMISSIONS
Thurs. Sept. 11: Club NME AT THE ANNEX
152 Orchard St., NYC, Earth

Sept. 23: Rebel Rebel at THE ANNEX
152 Orchard St., NYC, Earth....

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