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FUNKY NORPSE CHICKEN AND ZUZZ BANNED BY THE MUMULO HABJABOR!
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Exalted Leader Demands As Tribute - Portion Of Koko Dozo's Music Sales On Planet Earth. Violent Protests Break Out Throughout the Velfin Spoidioyz.
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....Our exalted blessed leader, THE MUMULO HABJABOR has ordered that dancing the funky norpse chicken is to be banned throughout the Velfin Spoidioyz. In his wisdom, he gave no reason for the ban which has led some in the extreme radical press to wonder if the timing of the ban -- coinciding with the announcement of a royal share in Koko Dozo's revenues -- suggests an element of envy in the royal court of the intergalactic popularity of our esteemed noizmakers whose discovery of Earth last year has captivated our galaxy. Naturally, we at Space Alien Nation in no way agree with those nuttering naboobs of negativism who were rightfully arrested last night and remain encased in oozing sacs of their own bulf.
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| ....As for our immaculately infallible leader, The Exalted Blessed Mumulo Habjabor's reasonable claim on a trifling portion of Koko Dozo's noiz revenue -- surely a mere 86% of Earth sales (95% of sales outside Earth's atmosphere) -- is beyond question. And naturally, the Royal Dulumthay should own the master recordings and half of the publishing rights, not to mention reimbursement from Koko Dozo for all manufacturing costs and promotional copies of noiz distributed. The celestial agonies endured by our gentle heroic leader, The Mumulo Habjabor, on behalf of the citizens of the Velfin Spoidioyz have earned the All-Knowing One that small tribute by those who are permitted to breath the gases of fame. We say "Goolyoops!" six or seven times in tribute to The Exalted One. Our feelings about the banning of the funky norpse chicken are highly complex and difficult to express at this time. But we certainly frown upon the violent and disrespectful way many of the citizens of the Velfin Spoidioyz have reacted to our Blessed Leader's decree. Law and order must prevail. We all know that we have a legitimate avenue to express disfavor with a royal decree -- we only need deliver a written statement that includes one's name, place of residence and official ID number. |
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Fear Grips Populace: Will Violent Protest Demonstrations Against The Exalted Blessed Mumulo Habjabor's Latest Decree Draw Entire Velfin Spoidioyz Into Chaos?
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Total anarchy in Oodioon threatens to create a war zone unless order is maintained. Unruly mob (Left) has created a situation where citizens leave their homes at their own peril. Radicals have been disguising themselves as earthforms. The Mumulo Habjabor blames the popularity of Zuzz and the funky norpse chicken for "the rejection of traditional Velfin values." |
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Reknowned Hero Arrested. Charges Have Not Been Officially Announced
Moomuns Wobjimmie has been arrested on the orders of The Exalted Blessed Mumulo Habjabor. Though charges have not been made public, the beloved hero is thought to have recently harbored hopes and dreams of a personal nature. That such a highly respected personage would place the entire Velfin Spoidioyz in mortal danger is likely to result in continued unrest. |
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A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM OUR EXALTED BLESSED LEADER -- THE MUMULO HABJABOR
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....I feel that it is my sacred duty to take the time to address all citizens of the Velfin Spoidioyz. As it is I've had no sleep in ages; such is the degree to which I toil for you. Toxic thubulous noxons threaten the health of the inhabitants of Oobrose Kulk? Volcanic eruptions on Looliuhf? An outbreak of gagulous mulm? Don't worry. The Mumulo Habjabor will fix it. And for what? I ask you. I break my nemp to serve you.
....Do I deserve to powder my beak a little with the riches I've allowed those two Koko Dozo snots to make? No. That would be a disgrace.
....A number of citizens have protested my recent decision to ban the funky norpse chicken. Sacred artifacts have been destroyed and members of our brave security forces have been injured. So this is how you choose to behave? Fine. Go right ahead. Suit yourself. Are you satisfied now? A fine thing. I hope it has made you happy. Real smart. You think this is funny? It's no laughing matter. My loyal spouse -- Queen Zemmn Chubshuckis is upstairs at this very moment crying her eyes out. Do you care? Oh -- no big deal. Why should you care? Just fine. Just fine and dandy. It's more important that you get glurffed on Zuzz and dance the funky norpse chicken. Well go glurf yourselves to till you puke. Then you'll pray for The Mumulo Habjabor to make you feel better. You'll see. Now I have to go upstairs and tend to Queen Zemmn Chubshuckis who's poor heart is heaving with sadness over your selfish nargling. |
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KOKO DOZO WILL SPEW FORTH NOCTURNAL SONIC EMISSIONS
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221 W. 9th St. in WILLIAMSBURG, Brklyn.
10PM
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.See the review of our first album
ILLEGAL SPACE ALIENS
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