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| Issue #5 p2 |  |
Sept, 2008 |
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..The Whole Earth Zhufmalog:
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| . ....Greetings my peepz. I have been a bit ill -- at first our personal physician was unable to diagnose the ailment, but I am told by earthform specialists that it was what they call a "headache" -- a mild transient disorder which has fortunately passed. There are some remaining complications but I am told that they too shall pass. I am able to report the latest yoif on the strange contest the earthforms are conducting to select their leader. ....Barak Obama, the candidate-of-change, has been joined in his quest by none other than his opponent. Yes, now John McCain is also the candidate-of -change. All candidates promise to change the government. Barak Obama's strategy is to change the party currently in power that most earthforms hate; therefore they should vote for him and his party which is not the party in power. McCain's strategy is to vote for him and his party -- the same one that is now in power that most earthforms hate. At first, most voters wanted the Obama kind of change because it would mean that there would be a something different. But now most want the McCain kind of change. This is why: the Obama kind of change would mean that things would be different and therefore the results could not be known beforehand. McCain's party prefers change that is the same thing that currently exists; that way everybody can enjoy the comforts of knowing in advance what will happen even if it's bad. Now that's entertainment! ....Here is where it gets confusing for those who are new to earthform ways. Fortunately I am no longer a tourist and, as earthforms say -- when in Rome enjoy a Big Mac or perhaps a Happy Meal. Those who are most conservative did not like McCain at first. That is because before he was the candidate-of-change he tried to change a few things. But what convinced them that he is now the candidate-of-change they like was his choice of co-leader, Sarah Palin. She is a candidate-of-change who believes in all the things that the current leaders believe in and would not want to change any of it except to erase ear-markers which is something she has always liked to have. Also, conservatives are excited that she is a female because they have long believed that females are inferior to males. They also like that her spouse is in a labor union because conservatives have long been against unions. ....The benefits of educating earthforms badly is that when election time comes around you can make them believe anything at all. The Palin/McCain story writers created a story for her that is full of fake information which is far more entertaining than real information and, therefore, more believable. And the region of earth called The Yoo Ass Of Ay, Fork Yeah is a land of many believers. Earthforms want stories that warm the ulfubulum, particularly in times of trouble. Let me tell you, my homzoi doggies -- in this hood, real information is I mean like so elitist whatever. ....Many are impressed because she can see a foreign land from her home state which means she will know how to handle complex issues on international matters. And they feel sympathy for Sarah Palin's story about birthing five offspring but only one of them is special. People feel so sad about the other four. They relate to the sadness of growing up among multitudes of others, only one of whom is likely to turn out to be special. Also Females feel that she is just like them because she too has a wumza and is, therefore, qualified to be a great leader. Studies show that earthform behavior is controlled by such body parts. ....Everyone is so excited because her high school daughter is giving birth. The conservative spiritual leaders are especially happy because their campaign to ban the teaching of procreation facts in schools now has a symbol of success. Now they even like Sarah Palin's running mate, John McCain, so much that Palin lets him attend her campaign events. ....The other candidate-of-change, Barak Obama, sounds very sour these days -- so hopeless amidst all the joy over Sarah Palin. Maybe that is because so many earthforms confuse his name with a former leader of "Israel" whose name was also Barak. Cheer up Obama, Sir. After all, your spouse is the only earthform in the entire land who does not embarrass her planet when she dances the funky norpse chicken. .~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
at PUBLIC ASSEMBLY 70 N. 6th St. Williamsburg, Brooklyn (Btw. Kent & Wythe Aves.)
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