By Polar Levine, February 3, 2007

.
And now for some psycho/philosophical background stuff: I'm a real asshole too but nowhere near as cute. You, whoever you are, are an asshole. If you think I'd like to fuck you, send me an email. Actually, don't. Besides being an asshole, I moonlight as a family man -- the only occupation I've ever had in which I turned out not to be an under-achiever. I don’t want to blow it. The larger point here is that every one of us humans is an asshole. Always been that way and always will be. Even in heaven. And we all moonlight as other things, like doctors, prostitutes, musicians, haberdashers, altruists, exploiters, parents, philanthropists, addicts, fact-checkers, slackers, lawyers, and people of real distinction and nobility. Assholes, one and all.

.

Some of us assholes are prudes about it -- we're asshole deniers. Some of us, with some degree of guilt and shame, accept our assholery just as we accept and acknowledge our bad teeth and other defects, great and small. Assholes from his latter group are more likely to be funny and less dangerous than those in the first group.

.

The fine art of comedy is based on keen illustrations of assholery in motion. There is a breathtaking variety of asshole species from which the comedian may draw inspiration. We laugh at the asshole because he utterly lacks awareness of his flagrant assholery while we are fully aware of it. Now that's entertainment. And it’s the same dynamic that drives the amusement and, more often, rage we feel about the assholes we encounter in real life -- particularly those of the more destructive variety who, through their prodigious arsenal of assholery, brute their way into the hallowed halls of government and commerce.

.

A more recent genre of comedy, one that I really like, is based on the performer's complete and essential awareness that she, herself, is a grade-A asshole like the rest of us. The more relentless and precise the presentation of a particular system of assholery, the funnier it is. Andy Kaufman, Larry David (Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm), Gary Shandling (The Gary Shandling Show and The Larry Sanders Show), Ricky Gervais (The Office and Extras) and Stephen Colbert have been the prime innovators of XAC (Xtreme Asshole Comedy). They're fearless explorers who have launched fantastic voyages through the bowels of assholery, including (and maybe primarily) their own. They’ve taken extensive and detailed notes along the way. They’ve conducted archaeological digs into prejudices, petty phobias, anxieties, obsessions, compulsions, manias, depressions. And like scientists, they’ve examined in excruciating detail the entire complex of assholery from the personal and cultural neuroses that trigger asshole impulses to the unique ways these impulses are acted out. The characters they develop comprise solely the asshole parts. The other stuff is deleted. If the research is deep, nuanced and accurate and the delivery of the material rises to the challenge, we go “ha ha ha.” Why isn’t the resurrection wannabe, Andrew Dice Clay, included in that list of luminaries? He’s definitely an asshole comedian who acts like an asshole. He’s not on the list because he portrays, in a stereotypical way, a stereotype of a male asshole. Who can’t do that?

.

Sarah Silverman, however, does derserve membership in that elite group and is currently becoming a super-hot superstar because of it. Her character, like Kaufman, David (in Curb) and Colbert, bears the name of its creator who also plays the part. A pretty nervy strategy. Because her schtick is delivered in the literary/dramatic embodiment of a character, she transcends the comedian-who-talks-dirty routine we see regularly on roasts. The Sarah Silverman on stage and screen is spoiled, shallow, monumentally self-involved, immature, bigoted, tactless, real smart but willfully uninformed and unconcerned about anything happening in the world that doesn't interface with her comfort zone. What's more, her type of good looks lies right in the sweet spot of prettiness most antithetical to her inner soul: she's cute. Inside she's dark and pustulant; on the outside she's pink and furry. And she instinctively exploits that paradox so that her character is proportionately as endearing as it is repellant. That seemingly impossible balancing act is so deft that it gives her license to be as graphically obnoxious as her imagination can conjure. That gets pretty damn funny. Her new show on Comedy Central (The Sarah Silverman Program) and her recent taped intro and opening monologue as host of the Independent Spirit Awards are feats of nuclear Xtreme assholery for the ages.

.

We could gain significant insight into ourselves and others by understanding that there are many different personalities within us who compete for our attention. That ongoing internal jousting ultimately determines the way we act and the decisions we make, both consciously and subconsciously. In fact, I believe that it could be significantly revelatory and therapeutic to meticulously chart which comedian, actor, musician, politician, scientist, etc. our inner voices would claim as their outer spokespersons. And that would be so much cheaper than conventional therapy and psycho-pharmaceuticals. For instance, my inner child is Pee Wee Herman; my inner social critics are Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor and Chris Rock; my inner surrealist is Lord Buckley; my inner working-class schlub is Roseanne Barr; my inner phobic jew is Larry David; and my inner asshole is Sarah Silverman. If I were to objectively sum up which of my inner mini-me’s most represents who I have become in this life -- it would explain why, more than anything else, I really want to fuck Sarah Silverman.

.

Polar Levine
for Yankin' The Food Chain
polarity1.com

.